When I started my training back in October 2013, I was in a place in my mind, body and spirit that I was broken, weak and powerless. I knew I wanedt to help people who were like me. People who wanted to find out all the answers and finally get a handle on this feeling of despair.
So when I began to hear all the great words of my instructor, Marc David, from the Institute of the Psychology of Eating, I jumped on all his teachings. Starting with slowing down with food and becoming present while I ate. Ok, so there we go – I’m fat because I eat too fast. Great…
Slowly I ate, No weight loss.
Next, we moved onto eating quality foods – off I went to the organic supermarket, buying “healthy” organic everything.
No weight loss – maybe even a weight gain. You see, organic doesn’t mean dietetic.
Now, I remember Marc mentioning something about healthy oils. Woahhhhh!….honestly, this scared the crap out of me – before I fell to the ground, I think I remember him saying something about putting four, that’s right, four tablespoons of organic oil on my salad. You see on WW, they recommend only two teaspoons – four tablespoons in one salad – I’d have to drink it. But, once again I follow the rules.
No weight loss – definite gain.
So here I am, I’m still eating organic food with tons of organic oil AND I’m trying my best to eat slowly which is causing me a lot of stress because this completely goes against my idea of eating as much as I can in the shortest amount of time before anyone catches me!
Weight gain, gain, gain.
I’m about five months into my training…I’ve invested A LOT of time, money and energy to become to greatest eating psychology coach in the universe and I’m a failure.
How the hell can I possibly help others when I’m gaining weight at record speed?
What the hell was happening? Everything Marc was teaching me was phenomenal. I was learning so much and applying everything into my own life. I was doing all the work, listening to all the classes, taking amazing notes. I was hanging on his every word…shaking my head in agreement to his advice, his expertise. Truthfully, I had more AHA’s moments than Oprah, but nothing good was happening to me. I put on about 8 pounds – maybe even 10.
It wasn’t until I was finished with the program when my greatest AHA moment came to me.
AHA, I said! I am not broken…I am a beautiful human being who is whole, loved by God and by others!
During my training, I was still looking at myself as broken and Marc had ALL the answers to FIX me. So with everything new strategy I learned, I placed it on my broken self to cover my boo-boos and expected this to FINALLY be my saving solution.
And it never did.
Marc’s is so right in everything he taught me.
You do have slow down when you eat and become present. You absolutely, positively MUST incorporate essential fats into your diet and you need to enjoy the exercise you are doing. And if that relationship, job, diet, friend, fill in the blank is causing you stress, then you need to make adjustments so you can be happy, but mostly you have to experiment with works for YOU, not him, not me, not your mother – YOU…
Since completing my training last month, I’ve learned through my own openness to examining my mind/body relationship and how they need to be in sync, I learned that my body can’t have four tablespoons of oil at one time, but I can have some avocado and a teaspoon of organic oil on my salad. Organic, high quality food absolutely helps my body be at its best and slowing down makes a world of difference.
My greatest gift though is that I’ve made adjustments listening to body, experiment with what works for me and I’ve gone into my inside, my soul, my depth, my body and see a beautiful creature who has had a lot of hurt, crappiness, unhappiness. But, now I know these crappy things that have happened to me are NOT who I am…they are things that happened TO ME. My thoughts, beliefs, patterns are mine, but they are not me.
Through EFT (emotional freedom technique), I am letting go of past hurts, limiting beliefs and accepting myself for who I am right now, not when I’m thinner.
And guess what, I’ve even lost three pounds…please don’t tell Marc – I’m not supposed to weigh myself for two months…
More on EFT later.
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You’re the greatest tribute to learning and development I’ve met in many years. You are the result, not the cause. Congratulations on your accomplishments.
Thank you so much, Michael…you kind words mean the world to me!