A couple of weeks ago, I made the commitment to go on a “no-diet” diet for my 2014 non-resolution.   To be honest, I’m having a difficult time with this.  Since I’ve been on a “DIET” for so very long – this is something I’ll have to do slowly.  There is a lot of turmoil in my head and body as I make this adjustment.

I have used food for love, companionship, merriment, frustration, anger for so long that embracing it as nourishment is very hard for me.  I have battled with food, seen it as dangerous and now I’m inviting myself release this — seems impossible!  I’m so old — I’m too set in my ways.  I have been in the diet mentality for way, way, way too long. 

Hence, I’m asking myself to change my ways – be calm around food, not spend hours a day planning, thinking about or regretting it.  Here’s my problem.  In the past, I have always had food on my mind and now after ALL this time, I’m trying to stop cold turkey.  Not gonna happen.  So what’s a woman — a training eating psychology coach — to do? 

First, I’m going to stop and catch my breath.  Next, I’m going to start embracing the strategies I’m learning in my training.

When we are “on a diet” we are either on or off, good or bad – there is no gray.  Honestly, what I think I need to search for is the gray – the in-between, the peace, the embodiment.

Instead of the no-diet diet, I would like to attempt a healing diet.  2014 is the year I HEALED my relationship with food and my body.  The definition of healing is the process of making or becoming sound or healthy again.  And, that’s exactly what I want to do – I want to make my relationship with my body and with food more sound and healthy again.  Funny, I just realized that HEALthy already has the word HEAL built in.

So what does that mean for me and my 2014 venture?  First, it means that I must calmly and passionately commit that this is my quest.  I should set a couple goals – nothing crazy, just a few.  And, I should begin immediately – no beating around the bush – no waiting until the Superbowl passes or Valentine’s Day.  Nope, today is the first day of my healing life. 

A year of healing encompasses many different things for me – there is emotional healing, spiritually healing, personal healing, embodiment, self-care, body movement, sexuality healing, etc.  This is going be a journey – challenging at times, a breeze at others.  I always find myself forging into a new project wanting to fix everything at once – clean the ENTIRE house in minutes, read the whole book instantaneously, learn the new program immediately, but this I need to go slowly – very, very slowly. 

First, I’d like to concentrate on healing my relationship with food.  Since, for so many years, my relationship with food has been a tormenting one, I’ll have to pay attention here.

Through my training I’m learning that food is not my enemy, my appetite is not something to be afraid of, but actually it is something I need to encourage and appreciate. 

If I want to truly heal my relationship with food, then I know I need to slow down while eating.  Secondly, I need to thank my relationship with food – it has served me well over the years. As an emotional eater, eating brought me love, companionship, busyness and, most importantly, it gave me something to think about instead of thinking about the stuff I didn’t want to think about.  Dear Food, thank you for always being there for me and helping me through the bad times. 

Thirdly, I need to go inward to search for my answers.  As good and educated the “experts” are, I need to do this alone carrying with me all I have learned from them, but now I want to focus on my inner world.

There’s an amazing person inside of me.  She truly knows what’s best me for and it’s about time I listened and honored her for her goodness, experience and love she has for me.

So, my goal right now is to remember that my relationship with food is symbolic — it’s not about the food.  Having the perfect food and the perfect body doesn’t guarantee me anything.  I need to find love inwardly first before I can see a shift outwardly.

HEALing my relationship with food means making HEALthy decisions.  It means listening to what MY body is telling me, honoring that and basing my choices on this. 

Oh, there is so much more to come.  Stay tuned.